Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The suicide machine churns on...

As long as there are people on earth, suicide will be a reality...

I was on my was to a suicide attempt call. We respond to a lot of these. The call comes in initially for an ambulance, usually from a family member or a friend, but we have to make sure things are safe at the scene before E.M.S can enter. Suicidal people often don't want to go alone. Supposedly this woman had cut herself. I didn't imagine it was anything serious, as nine times out of ten it seems to be over dramatized and when you get there you find someone who has scratched the top of their arm to gain attention from their family. I had never been to this house before and that concerned me. This was possibly going to be a new set of players. I would adapt to the situation as it unfolded though.
It didn't take me long to get there and I passed the area the ambulance was standing by at before I pulled into the driveway. It was a neat little home with a well coifed yard. There was a large wooden deck leading to the front door. Several people, all older than me were standing on the porch. As I pulled into the driveway they all ran to my car. All they would say over and over is "She's in the kitchen, she's in the kitchen." They were frantic but I did manage to get one of them to answer the most pressing question on my mind. "Does she still have the knife?" They told me she did. I went into the house and saw a women in her late fifties standing in the kitchen staring blankly at a wall. I could only see her face as she was very short. "Are you alright?" I asked. No response. It was as if this woman was made of stone. She did not speak nor did she move. She wasn't even blinking. My skin began to break out in goosebumps just looking at the face of this woman. I wasn't sure where she was but I could tell she wasn't in this house anymore.
I began to slowly walk towards her and around the counter so I could get a better view of her hands. I didn't want her to snap to, holding a butcher knife and go crazy on me. It was hot that day. I was sweating under my vest, due to the heat and my nervousness. As I rounded the corner I saw that she did indeed still have the knife, and it was a large butcher knife, but it wasn't in her hand, I stood for a split second marveling over what I was seeing.
The knife was stuck all the way up to the handle in the center of her chest. "Hey lady." I said. "You need some help....Are you going to let me help you?" No response just that blank stare. I walked closer and touched her arm hoping that would snap her out of whatever daze she was in. I was really wishing for backup at that moment but knew they wouldn't be there for several more minutes. I was beginning to wonder if she hadn't been stabbed by someone else, and whether or not that someone might be creeping up on me from some other room. I couldn't imagine someone doing that to themselves. It looked as though the knife had actually gone through the bone in the center of her chest. I wondered how badly she was bleeding internally. I knew time was of the essence and I certainly didn't want this woman dying in front of me. The moment my arm made contact with hers, she jerked violently and looked at me. She then looked down quizzically at the knife handle protruding from her chest with an expression on her face that said, how did that get there? She then looked at me holding her head at an angle seeming to ask if I knew.
There was a kitchen chair next to us. "Why don't you sit down here and wait for E.M.S. with me ma'am." She turned her gaze slowly to see the chair. I stepped back and began to move the chair for her. She reached for the handle of the knife. "No!" I said "You need to..." Before I could finish my sentence she had pulled the knife back out of her chest and dropped it on the floor. It landed in a small pool of blood on the tile. Satisfied with what she had just done she came to me and sat down on the chair, going back into her dazed state. I secured the knife in a plastic bag, and radioed for E.M.S. To get there fast. I told them what happened and they began treating the wound, secured her to a gurney and transported her to the hospital. My backup arrived as the ambulance was leaving and we interviewed the family. The woman had been diagnosed as schizophrenic, and was in early stages of alzheimers disease. She hadn't taken her medication in several months and the family had moved her in so they could take care of her. The woman's daughter said she was in the bedroom making the woman's bed. When she finished she went into the kitchen and saw her mother with the knife against her chest. She said she became fearful and called 911, just as the woman had stabbed herself.
I followed up on this and talked to her treating physician to tie up loose ends and make sure the angle of the knifes entry supported a suicide attempt. He said it did and that the woman had, amazingly enough, missed every vital organ in the chest cavity, and would be released in the next few days. I never saw this woman or her family again.

No comments: