Tuesday, February 21, 2006

"DO YOU KNOW C.P.R.?!?


"DO YOU KNOW C.P.R.?!?"

I had just picked up a stack of arrest warrants at the office and was on my way to serve one. The guy I was looking for had been in trouble on several occasions, but not for anything very serious. A few minor drug possession charges, as well as some driving charges. I knew he drove a blue pickup truck and as I pulled in to the driveway of the trailer he was supposed to be staying at I saw his truck parked behind the residence.
I walked through the yard to the front steps and knocked on the door. I heard someone rustling around inside and finally an older man answered the door. It was this man's son I was looking for. I asked the man if his son was home (I was already sure he was because his truck was there). The man told me that he wasn't, I asked if he would mind if I came in and looked around just to be sure. The man became very nervous and told me that he didn't want me to search his house. I tried again, but he was very adamant about not letting me in, which just furthered my suspicion that he was indeed hiding inside. I told the man that I had a warrant for arrest and to tell his son to get in touch with me. The man assured me that he would let his son know.
I left the residence feeling a little bit duped but knew I would eventually catch the guy I was looking for. I drove about half a mile up the road when I got a call to do a death investigation at the house I had just left. I turned my car around and headed back to the trailer. When I pulled in the driveway a large older woman was standing on the porch yelling at me "DO YOU KNOW C.P.R?!?" I told her I did and she just said "He's in the bedroom!"
I went into the bedroom and saw the man I was looking for a few moments ago laying on the bed, his father standing over him looking helpless, "Please help him, he's so cold." he said never taking his eyes off his dead son. I knew immediately that he had been dead for several hours. The dead have a certain facial expression, that only the dead seem to be able to make. His eyes were wide open and blindly staring at the ceiling, there was mucous running from his nose to his mouth. His mouth was fully open and frozen in a silent, violent looking yawn. The man was laying on his back and from the middle of his body down he was purple, from his non flowing blood settling where gravity had left it. I felt the man's neck for a pulse knowing there would be none. This guy was stiff, so stiff you couldn't even move his arms or fingers. I looked at his father and called E.M.S. on the radio. "Please help him." his father pleaded, as several tears had begun flowing down his cheeks. "I'll do the chest compressions if you do the breaths" I told his father. I knew this would do no good, but it would make the parents feel better and less helpless than just staring at their son. I began to give the compressions, and when I finished a cycle I instructed the father on how many breaths to give, and to make sure that air wasn't escaping through his son's nose.
As he gave the breaths I saw the air go straight into the man's stomach as the belly of the dead man began to swell. I knew that air was going to come back out in a fetid way and was glad I wasn't giving the breaths. I began another cycle of compressions and felt two of the man's ribs break under my hands, it made a sickening sound and a bad feeling to my touch, it felt very unnatural, and I prayed that his father hadn't heard it.
E.M.S. arrived and pronounced the man dead. His mother begged and pleaded with them to do anything to help her son. I was glad not to be them at that moment. I did my report and took the required pictures, while waiting for the funeral home to transprt the body.
After everything was finished the man's father pulled me to the side and told me he appreciated everything I had done, and that a part of him realized that his son had been dead too long for help. He said that after I had left he went to wake his son up to take him to the court house to take care of the warrant and found him lying in the bed. He said he was sorry for lying to me about his son being there. He told me that his son had recently gotten divorced and wasn't allowed to see his children, and was very depressed as well as having a drug problem. He said his son had actually made several comments about ending his life the night before, but that was not uncommon for him. I told him that there was nothing he could have done to help his son. That his son had already made up his mind about dying. I returned the warrant unserved.

4 comments:

KayeshmeyA said...

...

I have never touched a dead body. I have seen one. A very close and good friend of mine died in a car crash around 3 years ago.

I saw her face in death. It looked peaceful and yet I couldn't shake this feeling of revulsion off.

But I guess the feeling was more intense because I knew her so well and we were extremely close.

Strangers feel different, don't they?

You wrote it felt sickening...when the ribs crushed under your fingers...

What else does it feel like? I'm just curious.

I've lived in a very safe, cocooned world.

I thought I knew a lot. But reading your blog makes me realize, I know absolutely nothing. I haven't even scratched the surface yet.

I don't understand human beings sometimes.... We have such a capacity for compassion and this feeling of WANTING to help others....And yet, in the shadows and the darkness of our minds, there lurks a monster, ready to strike out and do harm.

Oh...psychologists' have writtern spiels and volumes on why this happens...so many reasons...

And yet....I don't know.

Like you said...so many people go around - safe in their own little worlds.

And it makes you realize, how little we actually KNOW each other.

----

Oh a lighter note....Yes I will definitely remember you once I've actually written my book/novel and manage to get a publisher to publish the thing! :)

But yeah....I would like to know what it FEELS like ... Every emotion ... it would make for interesting reading.

Cheers! :)

PS: Sorry you have to keep replying to the same blog...I'm not much of a blogger! :)

UncleWillie said...

Heart wrenching. I admire the work you do.

Anonymous said...

I have just read your whole blog and then realised this has all happened to you over the last month or so.Unbelievable, I gather you must 'do your job' but have you ever considered relocating to a part of the world, or the states where you could lead a more peacefull life full of more beauty?There are many people more deserving of your genuine humanity and ethos than the economic casualityes you are sent out to save and mend daily.I am writting from Melbourne Australia.

one of my blogs is:www.counterculturecowboys.blogspot.com

Its a bit academic, but I am too shy to give anyone my url for my pesonal one....yet.

You sound like you deserve to meet a lovely partner and share some of your adorable humanity with and get alot back in return!
Good luck and I will be coming back.

c2much said...

If you can't see the ugly how can you recognize and appreciate what is truly beutiful? I checked out your blog, very interesting. I have often thought
(especially in western culture) that the majority of people would have no identity if we didn't have commercials and pop culture to tell them who they are and how to act.